Mnt Hamel, Part 2: Conquer the Mountain; Overcome Fear

"The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future.  

It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present

and may not ever exist."

That is near insanity!!  

Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real,

but fear is a choice" - Will Smith

After the grizzly bear encounter on Mnt Hamel on July 7 on leg 4 of the Canadian Death Race, I will admit; I was quite apprehensive to run that section of the course on race day.  (If you missed that blog, go here for the full story.)  I felt the only way I would or could overcome that fear and run past that place on race day was to face it head on, and re-visit the spot ahead of time.

"Back at the vehicle, Lisa and I stopped for picture.
A memory of how fortunate we were."

With only three weekends before the race (and one of those I was racing Sinister 7) I didn't have too many options to do this run.  I was also supposed to start my taper after the July 7 run, but the run was cut short because of the bear encounter so I still needed to fit one more long run into my schedule.

A friend from Fort St John also wanted to train on leg 4 of the race and had a group that was planning to do it on July 14.  It was the only day that would work for me, so I agreed to join them on the run.  I checked with Lisa, and she was also able to join us.  We could face our fears together, and win part of the Death Race before it even started!!!  

Two nights prior to the run, the emotions of the bear encounter hit me again.  As I was lying in bed trying to find sleep; I remembered vividly, the image of the Grizzly bear's face, just inches from Lisa's feet while she was laying on the ground, unable to get away.  The sound of the bears growling at us resonated in my head as I fought the mental images and the terrifying memories of what we had gone through on the mountain.  I knew this run would be challenging physically, but the real challenge for me would be the mental part.  Finally, I was able to push the thoughts out of my mind and fell asleep.

"I took this picture during my 30 km night time
solo run.  Just the day prior to the bear encounter
I wrote this meme while I was waiting
in an airport.  I didn't realize how true it was!!"

The next day, we sorted out the usual logistics for a long run in Grande Cache.  Lisa and I wanted to run leg 4 and 5 while the rest of the group was only planning on running leg 4.

The morning of the run, Lisa and I traveled to Grande Cache together.  This was the first time we had been able to visit since the encounter.  We both had questions about some details of what had happened and why it all happened.  We hoped that today would give us some answers to both questions.  By 8:30AM we had the vehicles positioned at the end of the trails and the group of runners were ready to start leg 4.

It was a cool morning, but the sun was shining and the light breeze was just enough to keep us from over-heating as we started up the power line and into the bush.  The steady climb of the first few kilometers of the trail set our pace; but the conversation in the group soon turned to the bear encounter that had happened two weeks prior.  Everyone in the group was wearing bear spray and even though we were in a large group, the frequent "WHOOPS" and hollers were a sure sign that everyone was alert for bears.

The south facing slope was very bright, but the thick under brush restricted the view of the surrounding areas near the trail.  As we continued up the mountain, Lisa and I ran together and were in the front of the group, but we all stayed close together.  The closer we got to the place of the encounter, the mountain and trees seemed more foreboding.

Several times, I looked at Lisa as we got nearer to the spot and asked if she was doing okay.  It was more to calm my own apprehensions.  The closer we got, every step seemed to take a little more effort and our pace slowed.  Finally we came onto a short straight section of the trail and we both agreed that the encounter had happened just ahead on the next corner. 

"The bear encounter happened at the
end of this straight stretch."

We walked in silence the last few meters.  I could hear my heart thumping in my head and the memories of the life-changing encounter started to come back.  I pushed the fears aside and kept moving ahead cautiously.

When we stopped in the road at the exact place where it all happened, the surrounding area seemed brighter than I remembered....  Even though only two weeks had passed since we had left that spot, the grass seemed greener and brighter.  The mountain flowers seemed to be blooming more and were more prolific.  It was actually a beautiful spot!!  We spent a bit of time with the group rehearsing in real time how it all happened and I realized again how fortunate I was to be able to come back to this spot and take a moment for final closure to this harrowing experience.

We started to look for my Go Pro camera that had fallen out of my pack during the encounter.  It wasn't long before Lisa spotted it in the tall grass near the spot where she had fallen down.  It turned on and seemed fine, but a closer inspection revealed a crack in the lens.  I must have stepped on it after it fell on the ground.  

"The place where all the action happened."

"Lisa, looking at the bush she fell into with the bear was at her feet.  Dakota,
seems to remember this place too and doesn't look too impressed!!!"

The disappointment of the damaged camera definitely didn't dampen my spirits. I had more important things to be thankful for.  As we left the spot of the bear encounter and continued up the road to the summit of Mnt Hamel, it felt as if a very scary and fearful experience had been corrected, and made much better and more accurate.  The place of the encounter was no longer a fearful and dark spot; but a place where I was given a second chance at life - a place where my life was given more meaning. 

"The summit of Mnt Hamel."

"Running down the ridge from the summit."

"Passing the fire lookout at the top."

That spot on the mountain will always be very important to me.  The last two times I have been there, it has made a life changing impact on me.  The first time, I realized that it wasn't my time to die and that I still had a purpose in life; but this time I realized that I had the courage and the fight to overcome any fear or challenge that would come between me an any of my goals. 

With the 125 kilometer Canadian Death Race less than three weeks away, a big challenge is on the horizon; but somehow, it seems slightly smaller and it seems like I have already won the important part of the race.

"Fear is not your enemy.  As long as you strive for growth,

it is a stepping stone to success."

- Akshay Xnanavati

"Courage doesn't mean 

you don't get afraid.

Courage means 

you don't let fear stop you."

- Unknown

Mnt Hamel - Mother Nature, and Mother Grizzly

Most days when I wake up, I have a plan for the day. I know what Im going to do and roughly how the day will end.  Usually, the day goes as planned but sometimes the days seem to be out of our control.  When this happens, my tendency is to try to fix things and get the day back on track; but sometimes there are higher powers involved and we are left as just a piece of the puzzle that is life and destiny.

"Lisa Lauzon and I at the end of a day with a little too much
adventure!!  Glad to be able to take a selfie with each other"

Today started out as a normal weekend running day for me.  The 125 kilometre Canadian Death race is four weeks away, so todays plan included a 55 kilometre run on leg 4 and part of leg 5 of the race course.  This would be my last long run on the course and I was looking forward to getting some estimated running times for this portion of the course.

As with all long runs with our running group, we met at Tim Hortons in Grande Prairie at 5:45AM to car pool for the 2 hour drive to Grand Cache.  When everyone had arrived at Tim Hortons, there were 12 of us in the group and Dakota, a Border Collie/Lab cross.  There were some new faces in the group which always makes the long runs more enjoyable.  New people to share the old stories with!!

Several of us in the group are soloing the Death Race and some are running legs in the relay, so everyone's pace and goal for the day would be varying slightly.  Typically, the large group spreads out on the trail in smaller groups of 2 or more runners.  Very rarely does anyone run by themselves when we go for a group run.

"The whole group of us at the start!!
What an awesome bunch of running peeps right there!!"

Once we arrived at the leg 3/4 transition area and had the vehicles parked at the end of leg 4 where we planned to end our run, we started to run up the highway, to where the trail followed the power line into the bush.  Lisa and I were in the front with her dog which she mostly kept on a tether to prevent the dog from running too many extra kilometres and wearing herself out before the day was finished.

The first portion of the leg 4 trail up Mnt Hamel is a steady climb up a quad trail that is no longer passable on an ATV.  The aspen and willows created a good wind break for us as we continued to climb.  The trail is a clay/dirt trail, and I noticed that we were following some very fresh elk tracks and the odd deer track, but there was no bear sign.  It took us 55 minutes of power-hiking to reach the mine road and after a picture or two, Lisa and I continued on.  The next several kilometres follow an old mine road and are mostly downhill or level, so it is very runable and we were able to make up some time.

"This sign simply states the obvious....
maybe a little too obviously for today..."

After passing a red gate that is locked to prevent vehicle traffic from continuing, the trail started to climb again.  This time, in thick black spruce and balsam trees.  The rain storm that had passed through the night before, enhanced the unforgettable smell of the balsam trees and the sub-alpine flowers that were in full bloom.  The smells brought back fond memories from nearly 30 years ago, of hunting moose with my dad and brothers when I was growing up in the Yukon.  It seemed like many of these trips, I was just along for the good time and to get out in the woods... I wasnt yet old enough to shoot.  But dad always took the time to teach us how to hunt and survive with Mother Nature.

"The red gate"

As Lisa and I continued to climb, it got colder.  As the trees got shorter and the underbrush thicker, the cool west wind got stronger too.  The surface of the road was covered with large loose stones, and because of the steep incline, we were back to a steady power hike.  As we neared a sharp left hand corner in the road, we were just discussing stopping to put on our wind breakers.  The road bed was only ten or fifteen feet wide and cut into the side of the hill.  To the left, there was about a 2 foot cut bank up, then thick alder bushes which lead into the stunted spruce trees.  On the right hand side of the road, it dropped off steeply.  In most places, there was a small berm of dirt on the edge of the road, but here there was not.

Just as we were about to stop, we both heard a shuffling sound to our left, about 12 or 15 feet off the road.  The brush was much too dense to see what was making the noise, but we both suspected it was a bear.  Within a matter of seconds, the distinctive brown head of a grizzly bear rose up from the alders.  It looked at us for just a moment then started to run towards us through the thick underbrush!!!

Lisa and I both started to instinctively back up from the bear, close to the downhill side of the road.  When the bear came out of the bush, Lisa was behind me.  We were both yelling at it and I had my bear spray canister out and the safety lock removed.  The bear didn't even slow down!!!  When she was 4 to 6 feet away from me, I let off a  blast of the bear spray directly in the its face.  It veered sharply to the left of us and started to circle around behind.

"This was very close to were the bear
encounter happened.  It may have actually
happened at the far end."

Right after the sow came out of the bush, two of her cubs came out just to the right of us!!  They were not new born cubs.  There back was about waist high on me.  As they came towards us, I gave each of them a blast of the bear spray, but it didn't seem to deter them.  Now the sow was on our left and the two cubs were on our right!!  I instinctively realized that we were in a bad situation and tried to get the bears together while trying to stay close to Lisa and the dog, who was luckily on a short tether.  

At this point, it was just mass chaos!!!  The three bears were running in circles around us - never more than 10 or 15 feet away.  Whenever one of them would come close enough, I would give them another shot of spray.  All the while, Lisa and I are yelling at them and waving our arms, trying to back away from them.  Thats when Lisa slipped off the edge of the road, did a summersault, and landed in a bush, on her back with her feet pointing downhill.  The two cubs were on the road facing me so I didn't see it happen.  With one last blast of bear spray, I noticed that I was running out...I figured I had one more shot so I better make it count.

Still unaware that Lisa had fallen, I was asking for her bear spray because I was out.  Between the two of us yelling at the bears and swinging at them with my poles, she told me it fell out of her pack when she fell....she didn't know where it was!!!  Thats when I turned around and saw the predicament she was in!!

She was laying on her back with her head and shoulders just off the road.  Her lower body was between two scrubby spruce bushes, and all I could see was the sows head sticking out from under a spruce tree mere inches from her feet, and hear the sow moaning and growling at her....a sound that I have only ever heard in movies, but I will never forget!!!  

My attention was now completely off the two cubs.  I don't recall exactly what they were doing at this time, but I think they were still be running behind and around us.  The bank that Lisa was laying on was too steep for her to climb up backwards.  Because of the steep angle, while I was standing at the top, the bear was too far away from me for an effective blast from my dying bear spray canister, and I knew this would be my last shot with the spray.  Dakota was down the bank as well, near her feet.  With all the racket, I cannot remember what the dog was doing, but Im sure she helped IMMENSLY.  

The cubs were still running around and the situation was not improving for us.  I remember thinking to myself, "When will this END...when will they go away??"  My voice was starting to go hoarse from yelling at them and the sow just wouldn't get away from Lisa.  Finally, I realized I had to make a move as best I could to get the sow away.  I leaned over Lisa as far as I could and sprayed the last of the bear spray into the sows face which was right still right beside Lisa's feet.  

Some of spray must have gotten to the bear because she backed off, but I remember seeing the red peppery mist settle on Lisa and Dakota too!!  It seemed in slow motion....I thought I had made the fatal mistake of spraying them too!!!  In the lull of the commotion, I recall apologizing to Lisa and Dakota for spraying them.  Lisa assured me that she was ok.  

The lull didn't last long, the sow circled to my left and came back up on the road and came at us again!!  Lisa was now climbing up the bank onto the road.  As the bear neared us, I swung my pole at the bear and hit her in the neck, just behind her head.  I was out of bear spray and this was now our only defence.  The Black Diamond carbon fibre poles are lightweight, but I remember hearing the distinct "whoosh" of the pole when I swung it through the air as hard as I could, then felt the pole break when it hit the bear.  Lisa was now up on the road and was throwing large rocks at the bear as it veered to my left again.  

This time, it went back into the bush where it originally came out from.  We both picked up more rocks and threw them in the bush as we made our way walking backwards down the road.  For about a 100 meters, the bear followed us, just in the thick bush.  We continued to yell and throw rocks at it while we made our hasty retreat out of the area.  

Finally, there was silence....I looked a Lisa and she looked at me....her eyes were starting to water and swell from the bear spray and my throat was starting to restrict.  (Apparently, I inhaled some bear spray at some point.)  I could hardly talk, not to mention, yell any more.  We continued to walk backwards down the road and talk as loudly as possible.  Both of us were still carrying rocks.  Once we got some distance between us and the family of bears, we stopped and got our thoughts together.

We confirmed that there were no injuries other than over spray and Lisa had some bumps from falling down the hill.  For just a second we did consider continuing on back up the trail as planned...but then we both came to our senses and agreed it was best to find somewhere else to run.  

We started walking back down the road to meet up with the other group...all the while, rehearsing what had just happened.  

Everything had gone as good as possible for the circumstances:  We were both talking loudly even before we got to the bear.  Neither one of us had bear bells on, but I don't think that would have made any difference.  Im sure the bear heard us talking for a while before we got there.

We commented on how calm we both felt throughout the whole ordeal.  I was amazed at Lisa's calmness while the bear was literally at her feet.  She was definitely yelling at the bear, but I think I would have been screaming like a little girl if I had been laying there!!!  

That was my first time using bear spray on a bear.  It does have its limitations, but I believe it is very effective.  We both agreed that it is important to make SURE that your bear spray is ALWAYS very handy (and in a pocket that it won't fall out of if you do a summersault!!)  In the future, I will be carrying two bear sprays while I am running solo.  Typically, the bears that are going to come at you will be a sow and cubs, and one canister isn't enough for more than one bear.

After meeting up with the group we told them what had happened and headed back down to the highway.  Once at the "safety" of the road, the adrenaline seemed to wear off.  Lisa's eyes started to burn immensely from the bear spray.  We flushed them out as best we could with water from a hydration pack, but then decided it was best to taker her into the clinic in Grande Cache to get her eyes flushed properly.  

Because we were planning on ending our run on the other side of the mountain, all the other vehicles were about 7 kilometres down the highway.  So we headed that way.  I began to process what had just happened.  How close we really were to the bear, and how fortunate we were for that outcome.  I realized that today was not our day to die.  I looked at the stats on my running app and the whole encounter only lasted about a minute and forty five seconds.....but it seemed eternal!!

I often talk about the bond that runners get from spending so much time together....this is a perfect example of that.  Lisa and I worked together as a team with calm and methodical actions....but someone much more powerful than us was looking over us today.

Just yesterday, I was sitting in the airport in Edmonton, waiting for a flight home, and the thought came to me "Running will change your body; running trails will change your life" so I made a meme of that quote while I waited for my flight.  Little did I know how true that was....