Mnt Hamel, Part 2: Conquer the Mountain; Overcome Fear

"The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future.  

It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present

and may not ever exist."

That is near insanity!!  

Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real,

but fear is a choice" - Will Smith

After the grizzly bear encounter on Mnt Hamel on July 7 on leg 4 of the Canadian Death Race, I will admit; I was quite apprehensive to run that section of the course on race day.  (If you missed that blog, go here for the full story.)  I felt the only way I would or could overcome that fear and run past that place on race day was to face it head on, and re-visit the spot ahead of time.

"Back at the vehicle, Lisa and I stopped for picture.
A memory of how fortunate we were."

With only three weekends before the race (and one of those I was racing Sinister 7) I didn't have too many options to do this run.  I was also supposed to start my taper after the July 7 run, but the run was cut short because of the bear encounter so I still needed to fit one more long run into my schedule.

A friend from Fort St John also wanted to train on leg 4 of the race and had a group that was planning to do it on July 14.  It was the only day that would work for me, so I agreed to join them on the run.  I checked with Lisa, and she was also able to join us.  We could face our fears together, and win part of the Death Race before it even started!!!  

Two nights prior to the run, the emotions of the bear encounter hit me again.  As I was lying in bed trying to find sleep; I remembered vividly, the image of the Grizzly bear's face, just inches from Lisa's feet while she was laying on the ground, unable to get away.  The sound of the bears growling at us resonated in my head as I fought the mental images and the terrifying memories of what we had gone through on the mountain.  I knew this run would be challenging physically, but the real challenge for me would be the mental part.  Finally, I was able to push the thoughts out of my mind and fell asleep.

"I took this picture during my 30 km night time
solo run.  Just the day prior to the bear encounter
I wrote this meme while I was waiting
in an airport.  I didn't realize how true it was!!"

The next day, we sorted out the usual logistics for a long run in Grande Cache.  Lisa and I wanted to run leg 4 and 5 while the rest of the group was only planning on running leg 4.

The morning of the run, Lisa and I traveled to Grande Cache together.  This was the first time we had been able to visit since the encounter.  We both had questions about some details of what had happened and why it all happened.  We hoped that today would give us some answers to both questions.  By 8:30AM we had the vehicles positioned at the end of the trails and the group of runners were ready to start leg 4.

It was a cool morning, but the sun was shining and the light breeze was just enough to keep us from over-heating as we started up the power line and into the bush.  The steady climb of the first few kilometers of the trail set our pace; but the conversation in the group soon turned to the bear encounter that had happened two weeks prior.  Everyone in the group was wearing bear spray and even though we were in a large group, the frequent "WHOOPS" and hollers were a sure sign that everyone was alert for bears.

The south facing slope was very bright, but the thick under brush restricted the view of the surrounding areas near the trail.  As we continued up the mountain, Lisa and I ran together and were in the front of the group, but we all stayed close together.  The closer we got to the place of the encounter, the mountain and trees seemed more foreboding.

Several times, I looked at Lisa as we got nearer to the spot and asked if she was doing okay.  It was more to calm my own apprehensions.  The closer we got, every step seemed to take a little more effort and our pace slowed.  Finally we came onto a short straight section of the trail and we both agreed that the encounter had happened just ahead on the next corner. 

"The bear encounter happened at the
end of this straight stretch."

We walked in silence the last few meters.  I could hear my heart thumping in my head and the memories of the life-changing encounter started to come back.  I pushed the fears aside and kept moving ahead cautiously.

When we stopped in the road at the exact place where it all happened, the surrounding area seemed brighter than I remembered....  Even though only two weeks had passed since we had left that spot, the grass seemed greener and brighter.  The mountain flowers seemed to be blooming more and were more prolific.  It was actually a beautiful spot!!  We spent a bit of time with the group rehearsing in real time how it all happened and I realized again how fortunate I was to be able to come back to this spot and take a moment for final closure to this harrowing experience.

We started to look for my Go Pro camera that had fallen out of my pack during the encounter.  It wasn't long before Lisa spotted it in the tall grass near the spot where she had fallen down.  It turned on and seemed fine, but a closer inspection revealed a crack in the lens.  I must have stepped on it after it fell on the ground.  

"The place where all the action happened."

"Lisa, looking at the bush she fell into with the bear was at her feet.  Dakota,
seems to remember this place too and doesn't look too impressed!!!"

The disappointment of the damaged camera definitely didn't dampen my spirits. I had more important things to be thankful for.  As we left the spot of the bear encounter and continued up the road to the summit of Mnt Hamel, it felt as if a very scary and fearful experience had been corrected, and made much better and more accurate.  The place of the encounter was no longer a fearful and dark spot; but a place where I was given a second chance at life - a place where my life was given more meaning. 

"The summit of Mnt Hamel."

"Running down the ridge from the summit."

"Passing the fire lookout at the top."

That spot on the mountain will always be very important to me.  The last two times I have been there, it has made a life changing impact on me.  The first time, I realized that it wasn't my time to die and that I still had a purpose in life; but this time I realized that I had the courage and the fight to overcome any fear or challenge that would come between me an any of my goals. 

With the 125 kilometer Canadian Death Race less than three weeks away, a big challenge is on the horizon; but somehow, it seems slightly smaller and it seems like I have already won the important part of the race.

"Fear is not your enemy.  As long as you strive for growth,

it is a stepping stone to success."

- Akshay Xnanavati

"Courage doesn't mean 

you don't get afraid.

Courage means 

you don't let fear stop you."

- Unknown